Dreams in Balance

I had a dream that there was an open house at my house. Of course it didn't look anything like my house, and that seems to be the way it always is with my dreams. The front part of the house was a classroom or playroom combination that seemed ready for kids in the preschool to 1st grade age levels. There were strangers there with their kids, but in the dream I knew who they were and why they were there. The back rooms of the house were the living area and it was definitely not ready for guests, let alone people coming in to see the house. There were crumbs on the dining room table and dishes were stacked next to the sink. The beds were not made and there were piles of laundry in each bedroom. What a nightmare. I remember feeling anger at my family for not doing their part because, in my dream state, I knew that the house was clean when I left. I was flustered and embarrassed, but no one there seemed to notice the mess except me.

This is more of a beginning of the school year dream from years when I taught younger kids. I am sure that the dream probably stemmed from images I saw on an e-mail sent to me by someone on my drill team yesterday. It was a set of pictures with one of those, "how could they really live in this mess?" kind of scenario. The pictures of the mess were quite upsetting to me because they were both graphic and disgusting. But I can honestly say that I have never lived in that kind of a mess, EVER! My worst day has never been that bad.

Waking up from my dream, I put into perspective why I would have a dream of that sort, and then, after a period of meditation, I began to reassure myself that even if someone were to drop by when I do not have the house in order, it is really not that bad. I do though get quite frustrated that others that live here do not have the same standard of clean and order that I do. But since I am not going to be the one that does it all, I have to learn to accept what I get from others here, and learn to overlook a few crumbs on the table or dishes stacked next to the sink. It's not easy to not nag about things being to my standards. On the other hand I am always afraid that if I don't get it the way I want it, that one day I will just loose all of my control. I have to remind myself that people I love live here, and they don't always have the "leave no trace" skill that I would like them to practice.

I am so glad that I am learning to enjoy moments as they come and to love and appreciate the fact that my family is here and close. I can model how to do things "right" and pray that one day they get it. Of course I have my times where I regress, but I tell myself I need to enjoy watching my kids play, and to enjoy sharing the preparation of meals and sitting around the table together. Time together is what is important...but I need to have a bit of order too. I guess that is where I have to regularly work for balance.

Dreams

When this day falls each year, my thoughts turn to my dreams, as well as to the dreams of others. I can remember imagining as a kid being able to see a movie any time I wanted, or pausing a tv show while I left the room when my mom called me. Some things I imagine just seemed to happen. Without my personal input, some thirty plus years have passed and these and many other imaginings have become my current reality. I think of these sometimes as realized dreams. But the dreams I really need to focus on are dreams that I can make happen.

Some things that I really want I have to work hard to get. I set my mind to it and devote my energy to making it real. This is why I have an education. There was no one in my family that I could follow the footsteps of, although I found my own mentors along the way. There was no one who would do the work for me. Looking back I feel so extremely blessed to have people in my life at just the right time to challenge me to give my best and to do what I needed to do to get what I wanted. I was also blessed with a mind that made learning easy for most things. I was blessed to be born in a land where education was compulsory to some extent, and then available to anyone who was willing to work and pay for it.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is remembered by many today as a man with a dream of peace. I know that many today wonder how much of his dream has been realized. I know many young people today, my own children included, don't seem to get why King's dream is such a big deal. That, I think is progress. God created us all to give glory to Him. He also expects us to treat others well as that is a way that we show our love to God himself. I pray that King's dream is realized, but in reality it starts with me...and then you..and then...the world. People in general don't have a good track record for being good to each other. Especially not to others that are considered different or outsiders.

For something to happen, you first have to dream it. It has to be a picture in your mind or else you are living without purpose. I was posed a question a couple of weeks ago. The question was, what would I dream if I knew that it would be one that would come true? Followed by the question, what is stopping me? For me, the answer I know is that at the end of my days, when I stand in front of my creator, the love of my life, that He will tell me, "Well done, my lovely child." What is stopping me from realizing my dream? That is my life journey.

"The time is always right to do what is right."
--Martin Luther King Jr.,Nobel Peace Prize recipient and civil rights activist